EverJest!
by Electric Blue
Summary: The cast of ReBoot meets the notorious MMORPG game. Will they survive? Or will they drive each other crazy with sudden desires to act "in character"?


EverJest!  
A Fanfic Farce by Kathryn Grover  
***  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own ReBoot or EverQuest. Go bug Mainframe or Sony.  
  
***  
  
Oh gee, looky looky. Yet another video game crossover. Well, there's a big   
difference. This one actually takes place in a game.  
  
I've pretty much been waiting for ReBoot to make fun of EverQuest....I   
mean, isn't it just the perfect target? Well, since there's no knowing   
what Season 5 will bring.............or even how long we have to wait for   
it, I'm gonna do it myself.  
  
You have been warned. They're in OUR world now! *evil laughter*  
  
Also, assume that whatever problem with Megabyte has been taken care   
of............for now. I'll get to a fic about him later. ;)  
  
***  
Chapter 1  
Mike The TV and the Quest for the Holy Ratings!  
***  
  
"Hmmm.........." Bob said as he read the morning paper. "Yet another   
MMORPG cube sighting."  
  
Lately, there had been reports on the 'net about game cubes that lasted   
incredibly long, but were impossible to lose. Or at least, none of this   
game had been lost yet.   
  
Bob hadn't believed it at first, but upon looking in the paper, had   
discovered an interview with Turbo on the matter. This paper, by the way,   
was shipped to him every second from the Supercomputer. That way he could   
learn what was going on in the news outside of Mainframe.  
  
"Hmmm.........I think I should call him about that. This does sound kinda   
strange."  
  
Just then, Dot popped up in a Vidwindow.   
  
"Hey, Bob. You know what today, is don't you?"  
  
"Don't remind me......"  
  
***  
  
"Tell me why we're doing this......." Dot whispered, a bit agitated, to   
Bob, who was standing next to her.  
  
"Because he's paying you."  
  
"Right, can't forget that."  
  
On a large stage, were three podiums. Behind one of the podiums was Mike   
the TV. Behind the other two were two groups of sprites. One group   
consisted of Bob, Dot, Mouse, and Ray. The other consisted of Matrix,   
Andraia, Lil' Enzo, and Phong.  
  
"And now, Ladies and Gentlemen!" announced Mike the TV, "It's time to play   
DOUBLE DARE! Our two teams of sprites will now play a game of dodgeball,   
with balloons filled with chocolate pudding........."  
  
As Mike was droning on, the other team was having it's own discussions.  
  
"I say we all throw the balloons at Mike," said Enzo.  
  
"Somebody remind me why we're here," Matrix said.  
  
"Because Mike's paying us an absurd amount of money to embarrass ourselves   
on TV?" Andraia responded.  
  
"That works."  
  
"Oooh, I do love chocolate pudding!" said Phong.  
  
They were all silent for a moment.  
  
"Oooh, dear. Did I kill the conversation?"  
  
".......ON YOUR MARK!........GET SET..............."  
  
But as all the sprites had their balloons of chocolate pudding held above   
their heads and ready to throw, another noise made it's way to the   
stage.........  
  
***WARNING! INCOMING GAME!***  
  
Mike the TV looked like he was about to cry. Binomes scattered everywhere,   
as the game was landing right on them.  
  
"My show! My beautiful show has been DESTROYED!"  
  
But he would be happy when he discovered what was landing on   
him.............  
  
***  
  
It was a circular, marble room. Probably at the top of a tower. There were   
windows evenly placed in all directions. The place was lit by various   
candlebras in the room. It was otherwise dark.  
  
Bob looked around, Everybody who'd been on the game stage was there. Let's   
see........Dot, Mouse, Ray ("Can he even play games?" Bob wondered....),   
Matrix, Andraia, Enzo, Frisket and Skuzzy(How'd they get here?), Phong,   
Mike the TV, and Mike's camera woman.  
  
"You're kidding. ALL of us in a game AT ONCE?" Enzo said, a little   
surprised.  
  
"It's strange, isn't it?" Phong replied.  
  
Bob took a deep breath, and said "Glitch! Game Stats....." before long,   
his eyes went wide, and he grinned. "All right!"  
  
"What?" Everybody said at once, looking at Bob.  
  
"This is one of those MMORPGs that have been going around. Apparently   
they're impossible to lose."  
  
Everybody just kinda stared at Bob for a moment...........ya   
know......that kind of stare people give others when they've grown an   
extra head.  
  
"What do you mean we can't lose?" Dot asked.  
  
"Just what I said. According to the game stats, the user picks a   
character, and gives that character a job. Then he just tries to make his   
character better at that job. And us.........well............we just do   
the same thing."  
  
"That's it?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
Everybody just kinda stood there for a bit, acting confused.  
  
"Um, should we reboot or something?" Enzo asked.  
  
"Hey, yeah! Good idea!" Bob said as everybody slapped their foreheads in   
unison.  
  
And so they did.  
  
***  
  
"Hey! Where'd everybody go?" said Mike the TV as he found himself alone   
with his camera woman. Both of them had sprouted cat ears and a tail. Mike   
was wearing some hefty looking mideval armor, while his camera woman was   
wearing a skirt and top.  
  
"I guess that chamber was just for character selection or something,"   
replied the un-named extra whom I keep calling camera woman.  
  
"So, I guess this is the part where I go rescue damsels, kill evil   
monsters, etc."  
  
"Rescue damsels?" said the camera woman. "Who do you think you are?"  
  
Mike the TV grinned slyly before exclaiming......  
  
"I'm CATMAN!"  
  
"Oh brother!"  
  
"To the cat cave!"  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, Bob, Dot, and Mouse had found themselves on a ship in the   
middle of the ocean.  
  
Bob.....his skin color hadn't changed much. Neither had his hair. But he   
now wore a fancy red robe and carried a staff. Dot.....to put it simply,   
was a giant, humanoid lizard, wearing a robe of brown material. She was as   
tall as Mouse. For that matter, Mouse now had human colored skin. She was   
covered in armor and chainmail, and was carrying a guitar.  
  
"Hey, where'd everybody go?" said Bob. "I guess rebooting also sends us to   
our starting area."  
  
"So, Bob, what are we?"  
  
"Well, according to Glitch, I'm a dark elf cleric."  
  
"What does that mean?" asked Dot.  
  
"That means he's an evil doctor," said Mouse.  
  
"Bob? A doctor? That's just................scary."  
  
"Heh. Wait 'til you hear what you are!"  
  
"Oh yeah?"  
  
"Well, have you taken a look in the mirror lately, Reptar?"  
  
Dot looked down at her now scaly hands and freaked.  
  
"EEP! I'M A LIZARD!"  
  
"Not just any lizard. A lizard monk! Your carreer consists mostly of   
crushing things with your bare hands."  
  
"Well, I guess it's not THAT bad...."  
  
"And Mouse? You're a bard."  
  
"A what?"  
  
"You sing. Um..............that's all I know."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really."  
  
"Hey, what about me?" said a voice out of nowhere.  
  
"Eh? Who said that?"  
  
"I did!"  
  
"That sounds like Ray!"  
  
Bob stared at Glitch for a moment.  
  
"We're standing on him!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Glitch said something about boats being game sprites. Well, Ray is kind   
of a boat already, so he rebooted into a boat."  
  
"A boat?" Mouse said, a bit alarmed. "That's just plain stupid!"  
  
"Well, gee Mouse, what else do you expect? He's a living surfboard for   
crying out loud!"  
  
"Hmm, what's this?" Dot found a book on the floor of the deck.  
  
"What's it say?"  
  
"I think it's an instruction manual..........."  
  
***  
  
Andraia looked around. The woods were dark. Not to mention that she was   
wearing the most rediculous looking outfit. She was in a short blue skirt   
and a top, with a blue cape and blue boots. Everything was lined in gold.   
Around her waist was a chain belt that sported emeralds in every link. She   
had a cane topped with a tumbled rock.  
  
"Anybody there?" she called out.  
  
"Andraia? Is that you?" Three figures were barely visible in the darkness.   
One taller than the other two, but all three were short. One was   
in the unmistakable shape of a dog.   
  
Andraia, almost instinctively, flicked her hand and a ball of light formed   
in her hand. She gaped at what appeared to be Matrix, no higher than a   
meter tall............. Little Enzo was right next to him, about half his   
size. Frisket was only slightly smaller than Matrix, and now had grey fur.  
  
"What happened to you?" She asked.  
  
Matrix looked up. "What happened to me? What happened to you?"  
  
"Alright. I don't get this. Did I grow? Or did you guys shrink?   
............Hey! Where'd Enzo go?"  
  
Matrix and Frisket both looked between them. Where Enzo had been standing   
was a tree.  
  
"Hey, cool! I can turn into a tree!" said a voice out of nowhere.  
  
"Heh. That came out of nowhere," said Andraia. "What are you supposed to   
be then, Matrix?"  
  
"A ranger I think."  
  
"What's a ranger?"  
  
"Oh, oh! I know!" said Enzo as he morphed back into sprite form. "In some   
RPG game Bob and I were in earlier, I ended up as a ranger, and Bob said   
that rangers were like Robin Hood."  
  
"Who's Robin Hood?" Asked Andraia.  
  
"I don't remember much. I think Bob said he robbed from the rich and gave   
to the porcupines."  
  
***  
  
Somewhere in an alternate dimension, a crazy coincidence was about to   
happen.  
  
"So, you see, I added this new porcupine NPC to the newbie areas because   
all the other players were getting sick of fighting giant rats."  
  
"Oh really? You think they'll enjoy fighting porcupines more for some   
reason?"  
  
"I assure you, they'll love it."  
  
"You're strange, Joe. But I guess you can have your porcupines. Put 'em   
around that wood elf city, Kelethin."  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile.....  
  
"Row Row Row yer' Boat, Gently down the stream!"  
  
"Mouse! PLEASE QUIT SINGING!"  
  
***  
  
Mike the TV, suddenly bursts out of a small clothing store, sporting a   
cape, mask, and sword. He looks like a talking television wearing a combo   
of Batman and Zorro costumes.  
  
"Ah, but evil lurks and I am here to destroy it! Hurry up, Decoy!"  
  
Mike the TV's camera-woman emerges from the store, looking somewhat   
embarrassed. She is wearing a silly looking superhero costume with a large   
target on the front.  
  
"Why did I have to be YOUR sidekick?"  
  
***  
  
"So, we can BOTH turn into dogs?"  
  
"Great. You two and Frisket can be the three little wolves or something,"   
Andraia said, sighing. This was going to be a LONG day.  
  
"Hey! Look over there. A user!"  
  
***  
  
Oh my, what will our heroes do? And why are they acting so out of   
character? Could it be that the game is going to their heads? Maybe it   
adversely affects personality? Will Joe's new prey for the newbies be a   
sucess, find out, in chapter 2! 


End file.
